Joey Kamide: The Morning Battle of the Bathtub

The Morning Battle of the Bathtub

It's a daily battle, something I now consider a challenge when I rise and prepare to attack the day. There have been small victories, there have been numerous defeats, and with each win or loss, I'm hoping, comes a valuable learning experience.

I've been back living in Europe now for over two weeks, and my hybrid bathtub/shower continues to be an enigma to me. The rather oddly-shaped acrylic tub of terror looms large each morning as I sit and eat breakfast, fearing another failed attempt of making it through with both myself and the bathroom emerging unscathed. 

Climbing in and out of the 3-foot tall structure has to be done with caution, as one misstep or a wet portion of the tub or bathroom floor could result in a stumble or tumble and cause my bathroom prowess and confidence to continue to crumble. 

Like anyone with an athlete's or competitive mentality, you measure success in wins and losses. If that's the case, I'm working at about a .500 clip right now. That's maybe good enough to win the NFC East, but not a great way to start your day.

I have so many questions that still need to be answered, chief among them: 

Where do you put the shower head while you apply shampoo and soap? I've resorted to pinning it between my legs so it won't flop around on the floor of the tub like a runaway firehose. That just doesn't feel natural, especially in the couple of instances where the water pressure forced the shower head to flip and shoot hot water up my ... well you get the point. And the whole holding the shower head while trying to apply shampoo with one hand thing hasn't worked well, either. 

How do I keep the water IN the tub, and not all over the bathroom? I've gotten much better, but early on there were several instances where it looked like a rainstorm had blown through my bathroom. I keep reminding myself, while rinsing off, caution needs to be taken to ensure the water is pointed towards the wall so I'm not hosing down the bathroom. A wet bathroom floor is a treacherous bathroom floor, so I have discovered.

I know women here generally lay in the tub, or simply take a bath. Problem solved. But I'm not a bath kind of person, and I'm not sure how many men are. It's been suggested that I can go to IKEA, where I can find something to mount the shower head with, and find a curved shower rod and curtain. Is that acceptable? Or would it just drum up more bad cleansing karma, taking the easy way out?

Still so many questions, and the pursuit of answers and victory in the battle of the bathtub will wage on. Enjoy your standing showers, people. Enjoy mounted shower heads, dry floors, and confident strides into and out of your showers. I will win this battle, and rejoin you all in your baƱo bliss!