What’s That American Up To Now?

When he first got here, good chance he'd be on it heading the wrong way.

The following was written from the perceived perception of the Hungarian folks of their American visitor who has been here since June coaching this foreign game played with bats and balls and speaking in heroes terms of this mighty “Babe Ruth” character.

For the past half-year or so, we have been witness to this “Joey” fella who you have sent here to coach this sport of yours to our young men and women.

And while we feel he’s done some decent work on the field, we haven’t been able to stop laughing at him away from it.

Several times over his first month while in our country, we got a chuckle as he ducked off the tram or bus he was riding, only to jump on the same line going in the opposite direction, all the while checking his watch and SMS-ing (that’s what we call it here, not “texting” like you Westerners). We often wonder if he reached his destination at all, nevertheless on time.

One evening this summer, several of us were enjoying dinner on our patios when your American appeared from back entrance of the courtyard and preceded to collect several pairs of his underwear, socks, jeans and shirts. Apparently, when he picked up his clothes drying rack at the store, he ignored the clothespins, which were located a few centimeters from the racks. A brisk wind had scattered the clothes, an embarrassing hindrance to our new neighbor, but a fantastic bit of dinner entertainment for all of us.

And his clothes? Can you say ‘fashion faux pas? On the rare day in which he isn’t wearing gym shorts, sweatpants, a ‘Wildcats’ shirt or pullover and baseball cap, he’s likely wearing jeans that are entirely too baggy for him with a collared shirt with the collar down, not popped like it’s supposed to be worn.

One day, while several dozen of us along with a number of tourists were enjoying lunch and some shopping on Vaci Utca, otherwise known as Fashion Street in Budapest, your spandex-clad countryman was slowly rolling along on his sparkling-new bicycle checking out the shops and restaurants when somebody unexpectedly stepped in front of him.

What proceeded looked like the combination of a gymnastics dismount and a circus stunt. The bike flipped forward, and after an awkward dive over the handlebars, he was somehow able to land on his feet while gripping his pack for dear life. Slowly, he lowered his head to avoid making eye contact with anyone and ducked into another street, we imagine to assess the damage to his bike … and his pride.

We’ve got to tell you, if you have more like him, please send them our way. Unbeknownst to him, he’s been a constant form of entertainment for all of us.

Editor’s Note: If you’re not comfortable enough to make fun of yourself, take your ball and go home.